Whether you’ve been married for years, or you’re just starting to form a new romantic relationship, learning the secrets to building a long-lasting relationship is imperative if you want to have a relationship that is filled with love, joy, and harmony.
To help us create a happy, long-lasting relationship that we can enjoy for years to come, today’s love and dating guide on Inspirations & Celebrations features must-read tips from top love experts, including renowned Dating Coaches, Psychologists, and Authors.
Tips for a Happy, Long-Lasting Relationship
1. Make The Commitment: San Francisco-based relationship expert, Kevin Klein (the former host of ‘The Playboy Morning Show’ on SiriusXM and currently the host of ‘Kevin Klein LIVE’ at CBS Radio KITS: Live 105) believes that “once you’ve decided you want to start a relationship with someone, go all in. Too many times people don’t want to get hurt, so they only half commit. A relationship is not an Arnold Palmer, so go 100%.”
2. Show Respect & Earn Trust: As an award-winning author, international speaker, and certified professional life and relationship coach, Kemi Sogunle educate people about how to create a happy, long-lasting relationship. She says that “both partners have to respect each other. Learn to give your partner some time, and you need to set apart some ‘me’ time. Hold conversations in ways that would not lead to disrespect or raising your voices at each other. Trust helps build on your relationship. A relationship without trust is not one at all. Learn to trust yourself first, and it will become easy to trust your partner. The more you trust each other, the more respect you will have for one another.”
3. Prioritize Your Relationship: As a Psychologist, Host of the podcast “Your Empowered Relationship” on SextalkNetwork, and Author of an award-winning personal-growth book, Mindfulness and The Art of Choice: Transform Your Life, Karen Sherman, Ph.D., has been teaching singles and couples how to create long-lasting relationships for years. She reminds us that we need to “prioritize the relationship. Too often, once a couple makes a commitment to each other, they start to take each other for granted and let life get in the way. The niceties go away and each one no longer feels as if they matter. Bring back the little things that will have a long-lasting impact.”
4. Take Time-Outs: During the course of any relationship, arguments will arise. Los Angeles-based Licensed Psychologist, Sexual Psychophysiologist, and Founder of the Liberos Center, Nicole Prause, Ph.D., believes that “time-outs are an essential part of the most effective couple’s therapy treatments.” She goes on to say, “When having disagreements or discussions, being demeaning to your partner (“How could you possibly be so stupid?”) is a strong predictor of divorce. We all know we should not say such things, but it is much worse than just generally being angry or failing to show your understood what your partner said in the moment. If you feel very angry, have a time-out plan in place. Tell your partner you are beginning to feel upset, need to take a time-out, and when you will come back to talk more… then do it!”
5. Communicate: We’ve always heard the good communication is an essential part of any healthy relationship. To elaborate on that point, Denver-based Licensed Psychologist Dr. Wyatt Fisher (specializing in dating and marriage counseling in his private practice) says that we need to “establish talking as (our) main hobby together”. He goes on to state that, “early on, couples need to develop talking as a hobby. Healthy couples usually spend around 4-6 hours a week of quality time together, and this is essential cultivate a best friendship with your spouse. Also, if this is established while dating, the habit usually persists into marriage as well.”
6. Grow Up: An important step in developing a happy, long-lasting relationship is focusing on personal growth. As we each learn more about ourselves, and take responsibility for our words and actions, we evolve as people, which helps improve our relationships. Relationship Coach, Motivational Speaker, and Author, Matthew Anderson, D.Min., believes we need to “grow up”, if we want to have a healthy, rewarding romantic relationship. He tell us that “enduring romantic joy, ecstasy and deep love is for adults only. Immaturity is lethal to romance. Both partners need to work on being, thinking, feeling and acting as grown-up as possible at all times.” He goes on to say, “every word you speak to your partner has a powerful effect on her or his heart, mind, and soul. If you truly believe and remember this, then your communication will become healing and inspiring.”
7. Be Transparent: Learning how to open up, share our truth, and be our real, authentic selves is imperative if we want to develop a happy, long-lasting relationship. Relationship Expert, Speaker, and Author of The Covered, Alexis Nicole White, believes that we need to “be transparent” in our relationships. She reminds us to “always be (your) authentic self, by being genuine with your intentions, desires and goals. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and be honest with the way you feel. Allow someone to connect with you in a legitimate, intimate way that fosters vulnerability and exclusivity.”
8. Express Gratitude: When you thank people and acknowledge their contributions, you inherently foster closeness and appreciation in your relationship. Psychotherapist, Harvard Lecturer on Psychology of Close Relationships, and Author of two upcoming books, Dr. Holly Parker, encourages us to express gratitude. “Being thankful for all of the things, both big and small, that your partner does goes a long, long way. Not only does our partner become happier in the relationship when we’re more grateful, but we’re more content too. This is a prime example of how we can actually boost our own relationship happiness in house!”
For more tips on how you can create a happy, long-lasting relationship, improve your quality of life, and become a better you, check out the Personal Growth section on Inspirations & Celebrations.
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