To help you learn how to become more self-confident, today’s personal growth guide shares 10 helpful tips I’ve learned over the years. From developing your authentic voice and harnessing your strengths to loving and accepting yourself as you are, here are some of my favorite pieces of advice on how to become more self-confident.
10 Tips on How To Become More Self-Confident
To be honest, I’m naturally a shy person. When I was younger, I’d walk into a party and would be so afraid to talk to people that I’d totally clam up and go into my shell. So much so, that my mom said I looked like a statue – standing there in the corner, looking stoic and unapproachable.
Well, over the years, I’ve worked on overcoming my fears, finding my inner strength, and becoming more self-confident. I’ve even become comfortable with public speaking and hosting parties. As a result, I can proudly say that I can now talk to anyone with ease (including even celebrities and world-famous executives and leaders).
Here are 10 tips that will help you become more self-confident.
Tip # 1: Just be yourself.
When we’re young children, we’re naturally just ourselves. We don’t really think about how other people view us, and we’re definitely not trying to live up to preconceived ideas of who we think we should be. We’re just us. Then, as we get older and experience other people’s judgments and criticism, we start to doubt ourselves. As a result, we begin to believe that we need to “become someone else” in order to be liked or accepted. Well, that’s not true.
When you’re just being yourself, you’re living an authentic life. By being true to your core self, you free yourself from the illusion that you have to be anyone else. Once you realize that your authentic self is more than enough, you start to embrace yourself in ways you never did before, which bolsters your self-confidence.
Tip # 2: Be compassionate with yourself.
We all have flaws. We’re human. Once you realize this simple truth, you can then learn to be more compassionate with yourself. Forgive yourself for your wrong-doings, be kind with yourself (especially when you feel compelled to be self-critical), and be empathetic to the gentle soul within you that has gone through so much.
Whether you’ve ever felt belittled, judged, or rejected at any point in your life (and I can promise you that we all have felt this way, to some extent), when you’re compassionate with yourself, you give yourself the freedom to let go of the pain you experienced in the past. This is one of the biggest ways to help you move forward and overcome any “emotional baggage” that is holding you back.
Tip # 3: Be grateful for everything.
When you shift your focus toward gratitude, your life becomes more joyful and fulfilling. You start to attract better experiences, your outer world begins to reflect your inner world, and you find greater happiness. While we all have goals and dreams, a big part of finding self-confidence is by developing contentment with the present moment.
As Oprah says, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” When you think about everything you are grateful for, you start to realize how blessed you truly are. This is one of the keys to living your best life.
Tip # 4: Remember that everyone has fears.
No matter how confident, successful or powerful someone seems, remember that everyone has fears. Whether you’re afraid to be vulnerable, fearful of being rejected or disliked, or even afraid of failure, fear is one of the most common feelings we all face. Often times the most arrogant or judgmental people are the ones who are plagued with the most fears. Whenever you’re going into a social setting or meeting new people, remember that everyone is facing some kind of fear. This will help you stay centered and feel self-confident, no matter who you’re talking to.
Tip # 5: Get out of your comfort zone.
Sometimes doing the things you’re most afraid to do is exactly what you need to get out of your comfort zone. Whether that means taking a public speaking class, becoming a leader at an organization, or assertively asking for what you want, one of the keys to becoming more self-confident is to face your fears. The more often that you do things that scare you (like telling your crush that you like them), the more self-confident you become.
Tip # 6: Love yourself completely.
While you’re working on becoming your best self, to truly be self-confident, you need to start by loving yourself completely. Accept yourself as you are (imperfections and all), love yourself with all of your heart, and know your self-worth. There is only one you, which makes you incredibly rare and valuable.
Tip # 7: Create healthy boundaries.
Learning how and when to say no is often a challenge, especially for women. As people-pleasers, we feel compelled to do things for others and make them happy. But, sometimes, this comes at a cost. Finding the balance between give-and-take in relationships and situations is a process.
By creating healthy boundaries (that honor and value your feelings, while letting others clearly know your expectations), people will actually respect you more. Healthy boundaries enable you to care for yourself first while creating space between you and others. This helps you feel more balanced and in tune with your deeper feelings, which is key to being self-confident and happy.
Tip # 8: Do what makes you happy.
If you love being artsy, do creative projects. If you’re a Star Wars geek, pretend you’re Princess Leia. Do whatever makes you happy. You only have one life to enjoy, so do things that bring you joy. It doesn’t matter what others think, because – quite frankly, their opinions are none of your business. As you start to do more of what makes you happy, you become more self-confident in who you truly are.
As an example, I’ve always had an interest in Astrology. When I was a teenager, I was shy about sharing this secret hobby and I only talked about it to people who I knew believed in it. To be honest – I think I was afraid that people would judge me. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that millions of people actually have a curiosity about it. So much so, that “Mercury Retrograde” has even become a meme in recent years. I’ve learned that even the things we view as “weird or different” are ok. Whatever we enjoy, we should relish. That’s part of what makes us uniquely us.
Tip # 9: Achieve your goals.
Another way to become more self-confident is to set and achieve your goals. The more often that you prove to yourself your own capabilities, skills, and talents, the more self-confident you become. By setting and achieving goals on a regular basis, you start to program your mind to believe that anything is possible. Accomplishing things (from little daily tasks like keeping the kitchen sink clean to big goals like getting that dream job) helps you to realize that you are more capable than you ever imagined. You just have to believe in yourself, be focused, and put in the effort.
Tip # 10: Lighten up and have fun.
Life is meant to be a fun adventure. So, lighten up, relax, and let your hair down on occasion. When you see the humor in situations, find the fun in everyday moments, and learn how to be comfortable in your own skin, you’ll feel a sense of self-confidence like never before. And as Cindy Crawford once said, “If all else fails, smile.”.
Photography by Rachel Krueger.