I recently caught a glimpse of Bravo Television’s new reality show “Miss Advised“, and was inspired to write a post about love and relationships because of what I saw in this particular episode.
One of the main characters (Julia Allison, a Journalist and Relationship Expert) was seeking the counsel of a “Love Coach” to help her analyze and overcome her own relationship problems and personal dilemmas. As their discussions delved deeper, the coach relayed the message to Julia that in order to form a solid relationship with another person and to find true love, she would have to be willing to share her vulnerability, be more authentic, and release her desire to seem so “perfect”. This advice resonated with me because I, too, have shared those same traits. Being a self-proclaimed “Type A” person, I’ve always strived for perfection and excellence.
That episode got me thinking about healthy, loving relationships and what it takes to be in them.
In all relationships, we take the time to share ourselves with the other person, and to find out who they are. It’s not just about learning surface matters (how they like their coffee, and what type of movies they are into), but more importantly, how they think, feel, and respond to different situations.
Who a person is today is a direct result from the experiences they have had in the past. Some good times, others bad… these are the life lessons that shape us, that make us the “interesting” real life characters that we are. If anything, I’ve learned that people become more empathetic and understanding toward others when they realize that they are not “perfect” or invincible.
Loving and accepting yourself, just as you are now, is the first (and most necessary) step to sharing genuine love with another person. So instead of thinking you have to be perfect to be loved, remember that you just have to be the authentic and real you, and have faith that true love will find you.
Nika says:
I agree, I think at our core all of us crave acceptance for who we really are, not for who someone else thinks we should be